Apparently that was only Bunny's feedback before. Courtney has a lot to say...
Story:
- eliminate the dialog of: Cranial scan complete (the scan is a great solution and doesn't need explaining… or if you have it say something, I would not use Cranial (too medical)… it could just say, Scan complete
- vis dev on the mirror still needs a bit more exploration at the beginning… the heavy bars that slide around the ellipse don't look like they were designed at tomorrow's Apple Computer design labs…
- I didn't buy into the "levitating" sister… (and not sure if that's the solution… when just having her jumping up and down is bothersome enough… even if this is the future).
- one last button when the little sister has been yelled at to exit the room: we could see her hand enter the frame to wave bye and it does one last bit of action on the Deb's face before she reverts and leaves to answer the door.
- not sure that Bobby's dialog is the right choice of words
Characters:
- both have improved but the VANITY, which is an important character, needs an overall re-consideration (comments to follow after Deb and sister)
- be sure to retain the same gracefulness in Deb's hands as her little sister… Deb's hands don't seem to have matured as gracefully as one might expect from the gracefulness of her little sister's
- the hands are not about how many fingers (as you know) but how well they express the character (i.e. Donald Duck vs. Mickey or Mr. Incredible vs. Edna… Edna, with all her faults, had very graceful hands)
- Deb's profile, in the turnaround, shows a bit naive, or innocence, in the upper lid of the eyes that slopes to the rear… and we think that may be more appealing…
- look at the way the back of the eye has a downward finish towards the back vs. the front view, which slopes downward to the front, towards the nose– and that is more strong willed, towards the angry or a bit edgy
- remember, a big twist to your story is the way Deb goes to the door in total innocence while hoping to make a wonderful impression on her boyfriend… this treatment of the natural expression, in the turnaround, captures that innocence and we think you should base her character on the good, but losing patience, big sister
- the outline on the little sister is too heavy… she is little… so her outline should be less…especially on something like the head contour vs. the eyes… the eyes are closer to us so pay attention to them…
- the little sister's eyes are too perfect, too circle-ish considering the attention to other aspects of who she is
- speaking of which, how old is she? does she have a one-year old baby, zip-on suit that is made to take on/off to change the diaper?
- and I still think the levitating shoes are not necessarily the best way to get her up and down… if you had more time in the film then you could play those shoes up as another character but I don't think you need to in this quick running version
- ahhh, the mirror… the overall and design, remains heavy-handed… as mentioned in the previous email, think how Apple will treat this in the future… lighten up in the volumes and color choices… in the future, as things are more and more recycled or given less resources to manufacture… lighter… stronger… so much will be changing…
- look at what Apple has already done with computers/laptops/airbooks/etc just in twenty years… farm the design out to them and what do you get? The answer lies in looking at contemporary Industrial/Product Concept Design
- and don't take the reflection in the mirror for granted
- the house and car look like a thumbnail drawing… no comment
One of the things that Courtney mentions more than once is the non-important nature of the hover shoes. This (as you all remember) came up in the meeting with Bunny which means that she will most likely agree with us. But I have points to argue why we SHOULD have the hover boots.
ReplyDelete- We no longer have to establish the stool
- Jessica can get around faster: less animating
- Jessica can get into positions/poses that are entertaining that she would not otherwise be able to.
- It's futuristic
- it's something an annoying sister would have
In that order. Does anyone think we should NOT have the hover shoes?
Woow... Tomorrow is gonna be a looooong day.. I'll try my best to fix the vanity and house problems tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI personally think the hover shoes helps push the futuristic and comedic aspects of our film. I think it's a matter of personal preference..
I think their comment on the board is a lot of nitpicky which hopefully means that we're almost there! Although, I personally think that we need one more shot to show Jessica's thinking process or change of emotion before raising up in front of the vanity like how we had it before so the audience connect more with her character..
Overall, great job Keith! Thank you for your hardwork.
Yes, good job Keith! And I think Michelle is right; if the crits are this nitpicky, then we're doing well.
ReplyDeleteI am still for the hover shoes, mostly for the reasons you outlined. And since Bunny was there at their inception, she should support our decision. We may have to establish them very clearly when she comes in, but I don't think that will be difficult. It just needs to be taken into consideration while doing character layout and key poses.
I see what he has to say about the Vanity, but this late in the game I don't feel comfortable with big changes. Perhaps just thinning down the "tubes" which circle around the "mirror" and making them a little more elegant will help. Perhaps tapering their shape too?
Great comments everyone! I vote to keep the hover shoes for (Keith's) good reasoning. I also think that slimming the sliding frames around the vanity is a good solution.
ReplyDelete