We sent B and C 4 sets of storyboards this morning and they got back to us very quickly.
Here is the Crit:
Hello Group 4.
After reviewing the four sets of boards, Professor Carter and myself have a few quick comments below:
- each pass is much improved
- generally speaking, each set tells the same story and could be considered not much different than the other… so the best of the sets could be combined into one... BUT to do this will take a considerable amount of time via email so we'll leave that up to your group to select the best of each
- each story works but each story now needs to be reviewed with a microscope to determine what is or what is not working
- for example, Michele's establishing shot and hook-up with the window/mirror camera-move is best of the four (but the window is too small in the larger context of the architectural design)
- clarity is still an issue at different points in each set of boards
- you need to break down each and every sequence to decide which is best which to throw away (we were taken out of the moment by the tribal mask mirror face in one set of boards)
- each story has a different feeling– such as Frankie's are much more slapstick– is that intentional?
- thankfully, the mirror has more appeal in each set and the interfaces (pardon the pun!) are more entertaining (but somewhat confusing at times)
- now that you've revisited the Disney mirror, do not allude to "copying" the functionality, unless it is intentional
- all of the interfaces need to be resolved a bit more to be fully entertaining
- still not convinced that the room needs to be fully designed vs. a few important props such as the vanity or couch (which do not have to be stuck against walls, like everyone's furniture usually is in today's world)
- remember to be entertaining in every way– that means milking all the tools available to film makers: timing, character arcs, character development, shot composition, humor, creativity, technique, and, yes, more timing… don't rush anything that needs to be slowed down and don't slow down anything that needs to be faster.
- every element is a character… the mirror, the interface, the stool, the main characters, the doorbell, the guy's voice, the special effects, etc… each of those characters has one job, to move the story forward which is only there to make your point… your target… so make sure you know WHY you have them in the film and then exploit them to the maximum to be sure and hit the bulls-eye of the target.
Hope this helps thus far,